bluntlysaid


Been Awhile
May 17, 2009, 11:25
Filed under: Gender Fights, MBA

It’s been awhile, lets catch you up:

  • The Ex (insecure guy) and I broke up in December
  • He tried to get me back all through out the next semester. To no avail.  He tried many different strategies:
    • Excuses: “I acted that way because something bad happened to me, it won’t happen again” (yeah right, he said that 4x before)
    • Hope:  “You are the one for me, I want to marry you and have children with you. If we get back together we can be engaged by summer, married when we graduate”…. this strategy was particularly cruel since he harped on one of my dream of getting married one day. He used it as a weapon against me.
    • Denial: “Lets just be friends, and hang out, and basically act like we’re dating except we’re not.”  He said this in a note that came with some flowers. Friends don’t give eachother flowers, do they?
    • Guilt: “It’s me, I know it’s my fault and I can change. But I need you to support me as I change. I need you to be there for me.”
    • Truth: “You are 100% right. I treated you badly. I disrespected you. Iwas horrible to you and I understand why your memories of us are negative. You deserve better. I want to be better, let me be better.”  This was the second cruelest strategy he tried because he ripped the bandaid off when he admitted the wrong doing, made me think there was hope he’d improve given that he “saw” how his behavior hurt me.
    • Anger: “This is it. If we don’t get back together now you lose me forever.”
    • Anger and Threat: “I’m going to start dating someone…actually, i am dating someone.”

Anyway, that’s how it played out for about 8 weeks, which is right about when I started dating G.I. Joe.

G.I. Joe is great.  He’s secure, he doesn’t take his bad moods out on me, he is consistent, he is sweet, we talk like we’re best friends, etc.

I don’t like how aggressive his personality is or how his personality is contagtious (good or bad). I don’t like what a mess he is, and how staying over at his place means I have to stay in a NASTY apartment with piles of trash and hair all over the bathroom. I also wonder if our backgrounds are irreconcilably different (i’m somewhat of a wasp, he’s the opposite).

We’ll see. I’m glad I’m with him because now I know what a difference being with a secure, emotionaly mature and caring man is like. It’s pretty freaking awesome.